How to Unconditionally Love Your Partner

Abraham Hicks: And are you refreshed?

Abraham Hicks: Good.

Abraham Hicks: Now what?

Abraham Hicks: It will all unfold perfectly.

Speaker: Good ‘ay [day]

Abraham Hicks: It is.

Speaker: What I wanted to bring to the table is a question about relationships and I’m looking for a leading edge, high vibrational route to experiencing unconditional love for my partner. It’s normal, well it’s natural, for me for unconditional love, but it’s not always normal.

Abraham Hicks: It’s natural, and it can be normal, it’s just not usual?

Speaker: Well I would say it’s more often than not, so that’s why when it’s not it feels so not good.

Abraham Hicks: It puts a lot of pressure on both of you. You put a lot of pressure on yourself to say, “I must always feel alignment with my Source when I focus upon you.” And it puts a lot of pressure on the other when you say, “I want to always feel alignment with Source when I focus upon you.” So, why not say, I want to feel as much in alignment with Source as I can regardless of where I am focusing and take the pressure off the relationship. In other words, cannot the relationship be a non-issue to your alignment with Source? Can you not consider your alignment with Source separately? And on every occasion that is possible and won’t your Source take care of how you feel about that one and that one? Because what is unconditional love? Unconditional love is seeing your partner or whoever it is through the eyes of Source. Isn’t it your objective to hook up with Source? Because Source has already got that one nailed.

Speaker: Well—ideally—I spend so much time in the vortex and so much taking care of the only relationship that really matters, which is the relationship between me and my Inner-being, and there’s—

Abraham Hicks: Does your mate agree with that? That that’s the only relationship that matters?

Speaker: I think—[turns to mate in audience] what do you think?

Abraham Hicks: The answer is no, the answer is no, almost no one really wants to say go have your relationship with Source and don’t worry about me. What everybody wants to say is, “Make me more important than you’re making me.”

Speaker: Right, but we follow your example and so because of that we have a lot of time where, I’m not asking this question for how do we not argue or what do we do when we get into an argument to get back into alignment with who we are because we have the principles down enough and we practice raising our vibration enough that we don’t go there very often.

Abraham Hicks: What do you think about…how does this sit with you? So let’s say that you know that you want to feel unconditional love, which means you want to feel in alignment with Source regardless of what’s going on around you. So let’s say something’s going on around you and it gets your attention, and as it gets your attention, it takes you away from your alignment from Source?

So pretty common occurrence, really. There are plenty of things that can take you away from your alignment from Source temporarily. So how about saying, that’s irrelevant? How about making that unimportant? That’s the question that we are asking. When you make that unimportant, is it difficult for the other one to hear or are you both really in agreement that anything that takes you away from your alignment with Source must be made to be irrelevant? That’s the thing that Esther came to realize when it came to the book launch. The book launch was something that—Jerry and Esther had been listening to the meditation CD for almost 3 months and were finding it to be life-giving and so beneficial that they could not wait to get it into the hands of everyone. When they were unable to do that, there was a very big disappointment.

When Esther realized that nothing is more important than alignment even with something that is as important as that, even as important as the love of my life, even as important as a life-changing world-changing product going out. Nothing is as important as my alignment with Source. That’s why unconditional love. No condition trumps it. No condition.

When you have the benefit of a partner who wants to think like that too, maybe isn’t able to, no one can hold their vibration so steady that you don’t have out of the vortex moments, we’re not encouraging that or asking for that at all, but when you have the benefit of having a partner who also knows that nothing is more important than my unconditional relationship with Source, then, isn’t it easy to say about anything and everything else, that’s irrelevant in relationship to what IS relevant? Not saying it doesn’t matter, and not saying it’s not important, and not saying I don’t want to work it out, and not saying I don’t want it to get better, but when push comes to shove, and when it comes right down the the nitty gritty of it, nothing matters as much as this. Everything, everything then, we think this is the new definition of unconditional love. The new definition of unconditional love is, everything else is irrelevant.

Speaker: Well…

Abraham Hicks: So your children say, “but what about me?” I love you very much but you’re irrelevant. Your lover says, “but what about me?” I love you very much but you’re irrelevant. All of you have to be less important to me than my alignment with Source, or I have nothing to give you.

Speaker: Right, and I know that. I know it so much that I practice that. When I look at my partner who’s having an out of the vortex moment, I know that if I’m seeing that then I’m out of the vortex, otherwise I wouldn’t—

Abraham Hicks: But here’s a clarification we would like to make, so when you have agreed to walk a path with another. Let’s say you decided to come on a cruise together and you have tickets on an airplane that put you side by side. So, and the person is out let’s say one or the other of you is out of the vortex, are we really having a law of attraction conversation? Hang in here with us because law of attraction is everything. But is it really a law of attraction conversation when you’re observing something in your physical environment. Of course, law of attraction says everything that’s near you is part of what you’ve attracted. Can’t we say for a moment that I’m doing some things out of commitment or out of obligation because I said I would, or because we have seats assigned near each other on an airline. Can you give yourself a little bit of a break there by saying, there’s stuff in the world I’m going to see that is probably going to take me out of alignment with who I am, therefore I am prepared to pronounce it irrelevant?

When you do, when you do, it’s a little hard for the other one to take because everyone wants to be relevant. Even really smart ones studying law of attraction like you are—Esther wants to be relevant to Jerry, she wants to be relevant to him. And she knows intellectually that she doesn’t want to be more relevant to him than his inner-being, but when she is not as relevant to him as his inner being, it doesn’t feel that good. But he can’t make her relevant, more relevant than his inner-being, or he teaches her something that will never serve them.

In other words, if he caves into that, and he gets the taste of it.

Speaker: Now he’s taught her conditional love.

Abraham Hicks: Now it’s conditional again, now it’s conditional. Now he’s jumping through hoops to please her and you can do that for a while, but very soon, we will resent her because she doesn’t stay consistent. No human stays consistent to match up to. Only the Source in your vortex stays consistent and if you let anybody else be more relevant than that, then it will crash and burn eventually.

Speaker: Something that’s helped me a —

Abraham Hicks: That was a good conversation, don’t you think?

Speaker: Yes, thank you. Something that’s helped me a lot in those moments was looking at her and saying thank you for the opportunity to be an example of unconditional love. You can’t say that out loud because it will back-fire because it’s not what they want to hear…

Abraham Hicks: Thank you for the growth experience that you’re giving me…

Speaker: Quietly…

Abraham: You’ve made me so much of a better person…

Speaker: Isn’t that true though, that what they’re doing is giving you an opportunity to do what you desire and if it’s unconditional love, that’s an opportunity and then you’ve got it, so it’s a blessing.

Abraham Hicks: The tricky thing really is in, you see, it really doesn’t matter how they take what you do. What matters is how you feel. In other words, because the difference between saying you are irrelevant in relationship to my alignment but you are so important in regards to my co-creation. So I’m not pronouncing you unimportant and I’m not pronouncing you irrelevant, I’m just pronouncing you less relevant than my alignment. And as you hold that stance again and again and again, until you show yourself that you can maintain your relationship with your Source regardless, then because you’re in the Vortex, when you’re in the vortex, you are loving unconditionally. When you are loving unconditionally, the object of your attention feels loved, but that isn’t the conversation, that isn’t what we’re ultimately talking about here. What we’re talking about here, what commonly happens is, I want to feel unconditional love, but don’t because of what’s going on, and resent you don’t want to but do just a little bit because I’ve let you be more relevant than I should be letting you be which means I’m not in alignment with who I should be in alignment with which means I’m not giving you all that I want to give you which means I’m not being all that I want to be, so there’s mess in that. There’s where, when you really get it, when you really mean it, and it’s like you say, maybe you don’t want to say it out loud, but in your mind, irrelevant relevant irrelevant relevant irrelevant relevant relevant relevant relevant relevant, hi, relevant, hello, relevant, hello, relevant, how ya doin’?, relevant, feeling good, relevant, relevant…my alignment with Source. I’ve accomplished and achieved and concluded and mastered my unconditional love, now when you’re looking, no matter what you’re seeing, now it doesn’t have to be irrelevant because you’ve mastered the way you’re seeing it. Did you hear that, now it doesn’t have to be irrelevant. I don’t have to hold you apart from me now because I’m steady, I only had to hold you apart from me until I’ve caught my balance, I’ve caught my balance, you can be relevant again.

Speaker: Well, oh God, I guess I still have a lot of work to do…

[Audience laughs]

Speaker: But I’ve done a lot of work too, we’ve had many conversations and I feel like…

Abraham Hicks: We’re in a new place of understanding, in other words, this subject of co-creation doesn’t stand still, and once the understanding of the vortex came into being, and once you began tasting the sweetness of alignment, you see, if you had not so frequently, as much as anyone we’ve ever known, tasted the sweetness of unconditional love, we couldn’t be having a conversation about the sourness of slipping away from it.

Speaker: Yeah, I understand.

Abraham Hicks: If you didn’t know it and want it, we want it to be something that you know, and something that you’re reaching for, and something that doesn’t upset you when you’re not finding it for a moment and the trick we’re giving you, the key that we’re giving you is, in the moment that you are able to release your concern about what anybody else is doing which might be a little responsible for your slipping away from your unconditional love, you’ve got it. In other words, nothing feels worse than to be the object, in other words to be someone who knows that they’re the reason you’re not in your unconditional love place, that—nothing is suckier than that! You don’t want to lay that at anyone’s door either.

Speaker: So help me out with…because I want to be in this relationship, and I want to take it farther, and I know that if I was to leave this relationship, that more than likely, it would end up being in the same place 5 or 6 years down the road in another relationship.

Abraham Hicks: Yes. Because the relationship you’re having with the other is about your relationship with Source, not your relationship with the other, oooooh…

Speaker: Yes

Abraham Hicks: Now stay there for a minute, the other one irrelevant. But that doesn’t feel good to the one in the relationship! “Oh I could be anybody?” No you couldn’t be anybody! You are who you are and that’s why you are here. You’re important to it, you just can’t be more important than my relationship with my Source. This is a deep conversation and one that takes a while, but we want to go back to something we just said because it’s the meatiest and most significant new understanding that you’re bringing to the table as you say. So, I know about unconditional love, and I know about alignment with Source, and I’m pretty good at being in alignment with Source, and I’ve attracted a partner who is magnificent and we are rocking together. And I’m so glad that I have this relationship, and I don’t want to blame this relationship for my sometimes absence of unconditional love, but it’s hard not to because that’s where it shows up most often. It’s like my practicing grounds, and your dominant relationship always is your most important practicing ground for unconditional love, it just is. So what we’re giving to you, it’s the gift that only Source can give. What we’re giving to you, is permission to make the love of your life less relevant than your alignment with Source. And if you get it and mean it, whether you speak it out loud to the other, what happens is, you just find every reason in the world to stay in alignment no matter what. Now think about what most relationships are, most relationships by normal human standards mean compromise, and compromise means, giving up some of what I want. Well that’s the basis of permanent unhappiness. Sort of plays out that way for most relationships doesn’t it?

Speaker: Right.

Abraham Hicks: Why is it the basis for permanent unhappiness? Because when you compromise, you see there is no compromise, and do you think there’s a compromise in unconditional love?

Speaker: No.

Abraham Hicks: Think about it. In unconditional love, you can’t make something else more important than your alignment with Source. Now let’s bring this into full view. What does complete alignment with Source in a relationship mean? What does it mean in practical terms? It means I can, I, since I’m in alignment with Source, can only see you as Source sees you and you know how Source sees you? Perfect.

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